“He wasn’t my father…” She trailed off. The thoughts were heavy off her lips. He could see that there was some conflict between her words.
“But you were just as close, weren’t you?” He wasn’t sure how to keep her on track otherwise.
“Yes.” She shifted in her seat and moved her eyes form the window back to him. She slid swung the leg she had had tucked underneath her back out to rest on the floor and then leaned forward. Her elbows rested on her knees and her chin rested on the fist she was making with both. It was like this that he felt her look right through him to someone beyond him. “He was everything.”
She was silent for a minute before continuing, “After James was taken, everyone was so confused how to go on. He had carried purpose while here, yet here they were left with a little girl and a world crumbling around them. Nathaniel seemed to be the only one that knew things were no longer going back to normal. The other two took a lot longer to realize that things were different. I was about twelve before the other two realized that they couldn’t keep everything that happened to themselves.” She stopped again and thought. She had expressed her concern to him about being able to keep the details straight. He assumed this was one of the moments were she was trying to remember. “They had come to visit me from time to time, but I remember the last time being so different.” Her eyes fell to the floor and she brushed her hair behind her ears. “They said goodbye. They had never done that before. They said they’d see me again someday, but I could see the sadness in their eyes. It was like everyone knew it was going to be a very long time.” Again she paused.
“Did you? See them again, that is.”
“Not yet.” Her eyes lit up as she smiled. There was a secret she had behind those eyes
“Not yet?”
“Nothing is forever, especially goodbyes among those have the Breath! I may be old, but I’m not delusional…” She began to giggle quietly, “…yet!” Her laugh bubbled out at her own joke and she couldn’t help herself. It made him smile too. It was good for him to see her laugh again. There seemed to be so much tragedy in the whole story that any kind of humor helped ease the tension. “They knew it then that they weren’t coming back. What they were going to do was something that was going to take the rest of their lives.”
He furrowed his brow at her last words and interjected, “What were they going to do?”
“Teach!” Her words were so emphatic as if she assumed him to know this already, “There were so many states in the east at that time that just had no idea what had happened to us. They didn’t know what we had found. There were those, like us, who had never seen or even heard about this book.”
“Is that were Nathaniel went?”
“In a way,” she nodded, “but he went back to where he was from. Back to the Ahm Dree-ah. He said they were just important as the states to the east and that they were part of our world too, even if most of us didn’t know that.” She leaned back, off of her elbows and back into the seat, “I was nineteen when he had to leave and it wasn’t any easier on him than me.” She shifted topics slightly, “You know, he had been preparing me for the day for years. I knew it was coming and I think that made it easier.” Without pause her eyes averted back to the window, “I miss him.”
He smiled at her as the words came out, “Anyone would miss their father.”
She smiled, “He wasn’t my…” She stopped as if the words weren’t quite right this time. She let out sigh, “I guess he was more like a father than anyone. And he was a good man. He took care of me. Taught me right and wrong.”
“Isn’t that what fathers do?”
“I’m tired. I think I’ll retire for the evening.” She stood up and began making her way to the door. Her small frame and gentle eyes were highly deceptive, not revealing her years well beyond eighty. He knew she was not forcing him out due to him crossing the line, but rather because she wanted to be alone for the remainder of the night. He often heard her begin talking to her companion the moment he stepped out the door. Tonight was no different. As she opened the door he stepped out, said his thank you and began walking to the small shelter next door where he slept each night. Behind him she heard her say, just like every other day, “Breakfast is when the sun comes up!”
He smiled and called back, “Yes, ma’am!”
Before the door shut behind him, he heard her say those four words she uttered nearly every thing, “Oh, thank you, High-ah…” the reset of her words trailed off and the door clicked shut. Even after being with her for over a month, he still couldn’t understand how she was always so thankful and so happy. Her life was one dark pit after another and she seemed only know sadness. As he stopped at his door he looked back over his shoulder at the now dark house and her words from earlier came flooding back, “But now my eye have seen Him! I have seen Zane face to face.”
The smile crept upon him and he shook his head. She knew more than he ever could imagine. Tomorrow was another day and she would again tell him of things to wonderful for him to know. But tonight, they would rest. Before shutting the door and disappearing into the darkness of his room, he whispered the only thing that could convey his thoughts, “You are incredible.” The darkness enveloped him and the door was closed. “Good night, Violin.”