“What if” is the poison of the soul. It’s a lie force fed by the enemy made to make me doubt, afraid, and wallow in my mistakes. For years I heard the lies, “If only you had done this, I would have done what was right.” For years I’ve been haunted by, “If only I had known…”
It’s absurd when written out like this: “If you had done what I wanted, I would not have sinned.”
I am learning to let go of the poor choices I made. They did not cause the sin of another, they own that completely. At the time, the decisions seemed the best I could make. If I could undo some of them I would. Other fights were unwinnable because failure was rigged from the beginning and, in those cases, there’s nothing to undo.
Tomorrow I will make new choices and again, try my hardest to follow you, Father, as you lead me step by step into the day.