Today I went through one of my “I deserve…” moments. I pondered all the things I didn’t have and thought, “But I deserve them.” Thankfully, my Father sitting across from me, patiently listened to and took in each statement. I explained that my car had died and due to my own ability and “long suffering” with the this old one, that I really deserved a new one.
I went on to cover the topic of my personal life and what I deserve and when I deserve it. God still sat next to me listening. About half way home I stopped talking and just sat quietly for a few minutes. We both sat like that for a while as the car bumped and bounded over the rolling hills. Then God finally broke the silence, “Let me show you something.”
It was the most profound display of logic I have ever seen and with great love and specificity he revealed the truth to me.
From birth I was given a father and a mother who loved each other, loved me, and taught me the meaning of love. They educated me in the dealing of truth, and brought me up to know right from wrong.
I came into the world with two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, and everything else exactly in the place it should be. I would never have trouble walking or running. I could play any sport I set my mind to. I never had asthma or allergies. I could eat what I desired. My teeth were always straight and I had a full head of hair.
God gave me, from birth, a great advantage.
He continued throughout life. I had an excellent education, and he allowed me to attend four years of college and emerge debt free with my degree. He gave me skills to work, and he gave me jobs to use those skills. He provided every dollar of every day.
He brought into my life people that feared him and guided me through each difficult part. He showed me how to love and taught me what it meant to him.
He brought her. The greatest joy, the greatest lesson, and the greatest act of kindness. He let me know my wife. He let me see reality through the eyes of another. He gave me riches beyond imagining.
Everything I have, including the ice cream in my bowl, is a gift he gave in love to me.
He didn’t go further, as he no longer had the need. But in the echoes of the images he had shown me, I saw the face of Job, and the truth was even clearer. There are many who God has blessed, but blessed with far less. At a moment’s notice, God could remove the gifts, for my benefit, and I would be faced with nothing but the cross to cling to. Could I be content with that? Could I still shout his praise?
I’ll tell you this, the remainder of the car ride was very quiet. I know he could have put me in my place with one motion of his hand, but instead he chose, once again, to draw me softly, with a small and quiet voice.
I deserve nothing, but have been given much, for my Father in Heaven loves to give it.